Wearing a hijab is one of the biggest step I have taken in being a better muslimah. It's not like the hijab is something alien that I have never wear before. In fact I have started wearing hijab when I went to Primary 2, at 8 years old. But at the time, when I went to school I always felt that the girls in my class were pretty in their pinafore while I always have this nagging feeling; why did my parents ask me to wear this plain white 'tudung' which always make me look messy at the end of the day, with it being white and all. During all my years in primary school, I have always been wearing my tudung to school, but outside school or during the sports or curricular activities, I always let my hair freely without any cover.
Even when the whole family moved to Kelantan, a state which is also known as 'Serambi Mekah' I never really wore my tudung outside school. I remember growing up watching my mother with her tudung, sometimes the plain, flowery rectangular ones. When she went to teach at school, she wore her 'tudung labuh' the plain big hijab which I usually relates to 'ustazah'. Until now, my mother will cover her head even when she wants to pick the dry clothes outside the house.
At 16 years old, I always found myself at the receving end of my mother's frustration wrath because I was simply too hard headed and I refused to wear tudung outside school. Worse, when she became angry with me, I will yell back at her and once I even punched the glass of my cupboard because I was so frustrated at my mother. Those teenage angst are hard to forget but I am really thankful because thanks to my mother's yelling I turn out okay, and my rebellious streak were all leashed out in cranking up the volumes of all those Korn albums that I bought. Going to the school prom without my mother's knowledge and wearing something skimpy without my mother's knowledge was probably the peak of it all. Amazingly, until now she does not have any idea that I have attended the prom.
Fast forward to May 1999, I was offered to study at a nearby private university. I came to the orientation in baju kurung and with my hair runs out freely. Before that I have decided that this time in my upcoming university years, I am going to be what I really am. No more hiding behind those hideous tudung, I thought. I can do whatever I desire and wear my hair any fashion I like.
But fate has another plan for me.
During orientation, all female Muslim student were required to wear tudung. Reluctantly, I wore the tudung, thinking at the end of the orientation I still can take off my tudung. On the last day of the orientation, most of the students went without their tudung, just like they originally came. To my amazement, when it was time to take off my tudung, I suddenly had this reluctant feeling. I felt that I am actually at ease with my tudung and I will feel naked without it.
And so begins a new journey with my tudung which alhamdulillah, I have continue to wear it until today.
I used to cover only my head when I wore tudung, but now I have begin to wear my tudung not only to cover my head, but also my chest. My decision to wear tudung during my uni days, have created various comments from friends and family alike. Some were shocked, some were disappointed and my mother of course were delighted.
To me it has been a long and wonderful journey with my beloved tudung. With various choices of tudung and lots and lots of fashion on how to wear your tudung, I think you will look prettier if you don a tudung.
Even when the whole family moved to Kelantan, a state which is also known as 'Serambi Mekah' I never really wore my tudung outside school. I remember growing up watching my mother with her tudung, sometimes the plain, flowery rectangular ones. When she went to teach at school, she wore her 'tudung labuh' the plain big hijab which I usually relates to 'ustazah'. Until now, my mother will cover her head even when she wants to pick the dry clothes outside the house.
At 16 years old, I always found myself at the receving end of my mother's frustration wrath because I was simply too hard headed and I refused to wear tudung outside school. Worse, when she became angry with me, I will yell back at her and once I even punched the glass of my cupboard because I was so frustrated at my mother. Those teenage angst are hard to forget but I am really thankful because thanks to my mother's yelling I turn out okay, and my rebellious streak were all leashed out in cranking up the volumes of all those Korn albums that I bought. Going to the school prom without my mother's knowledge and wearing something skimpy without my mother's knowledge was probably the peak of it all. Amazingly, until now she does not have any idea that I have attended the prom.
Fast forward to May 1999, I was offered to study at a nearby private university. I came to the orientation in baju kurung and with my hair runs out freely. Before that I have decided that this time in my upcoming university years, I am going to be what I really am. No more hiding behind those hideous tudung, I thought. I can do whatever I desire and wear my hair any fashion I like.
But fate has another plan for me.
During orientation, all female Muslim student were required to wear tudung. Reluctantly, I wore the tudung, thinking at the end of the orientation I still can take off my tudung. On the last day of the orientation, most of the students went without their tudung, just like they originally came. To my amazement, when it was time to take off my tudung, I suddenly had this reluctant feeling. I felt that I am actually at ease with my tudung and I will feel naked without it.
And so begins a new journey with my tudung which alhamdulillah, I have continue to wear it until today.
I used to cover only my head when I wore tudung, but now I have begin to wear my tudung not only to cover my head, but also my chest. My decision to wear tudung during my uni days, have created various comments from friends and family alike. Some were shocked, some were disappointed and my mother of course were delighted.
To me it has been a long and wonderful journey with my beloved tudung. With various choices of tudung and lots and lots of fashion on how to wear your tudung, I think you will look prettier if you don a tudung.
alFaisal
May 16, 2008 at 8:02 AM
The article can be read here
http://demipena.blogspot.com/2007/07/icare.html
By the way, thanks for sharing the story :)